"Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." (I Thessalonians 5:16-18)

Monday, March 9, 2009

Normally it's all about me....however

A friend sent me an email this morning...and as I read it I kept saying YES! So it meant so much to me and the way I feel at my age...thought I'd share it with you:
I’m Tired
Robert A. Hall

I’ll be 63 soon. Except for one semester in college when jobs were scarce, and a six-month period when I was between jobs, but job-hunting every day, I’ve worked, hard, since I was 18. Despite some health challenges, I still put in 50-hour weeks, and haven’t called in sick in seven or eight years.. I make a good salary, but I didn’t inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am. Given the economy, there’s no retirement in sight, and I’m tired. Very tired.
I’m tired of being told that I have to “spread the wealth around” to people who don’t have my work ethic. I’m tired of being told the government will take the money I earned, by force if necessary, and give it to people too lazy or stupid to earn it.
I’m tired of being told that I have to pay more taxes to “keep people in their homes.” Sure, if they lost their jobs or got sick, I’m willing to help. But if they bought McMansions at three times the price of our paid-off, $250,000 condo, on one-third of my salary, then let the leftwing Congresscritters who passed Fannie and Freddie and the Community Reinvestment Act that created the bubble help them—with their own money.
I’m tired of being told how bad America is by leftwing millionaires like Michael Moore, George Soros and Hollywood entertainers who live in luxury because of the opportunities America offers. In thirty years, if they get their way, the United States will have the religious freedom and women’s rights of Saudi Arabia, the economy of Zimbabwe, the freedom of the press of China, the crime and violence of Mexico, the tolerance for Gay people of Iran, and the freedom of speech of Venezuela. Won’t multiculturalism be beautiful?
I’m tired of being told that Islam is a “Religion of Peace,” when every day I can read dozens of stories of Muslim men killing their sisters, wives and daughters for their family “honor;” of Muslims rioting over some slight offense; of Muslims murdering Christian and Jews because they aren’t “believers;” of Muslims burning schools for girls; of Muslims stoning teenage rape victims to death for “adultery;” of Muslims mutilating the genitals of little girls; all in the name of Allah, because the Qur’an and Shari’a law tells them to.
I believe “a man should be judged by the content of his character, not by the color of his skin.” I’m tired of being told that “race doesn’t matter” in the post-racial world of President Obama, when it’s all that matters in affirmative action jobs, lower college admission and graduation standards for minorities (harming them the most), government contract set-asides, tolerance for the ghetto culture of violence and fatherless children that hurts minorities more than anyone, and in the appointment of US Senators from Illinois. I think it’s very cool that we have a black president and that a black child is doing her homework at the desk where Lincoln wrote the emancipation proclamation. I just wish the black president was Condi Rice, or someone who believes more in freedom and the individual and less in an all-knowing government.
I’m tired of a news media that thinks Bush’s fundraising and inaugural expenses were obscene, but that think Obama’s, at triple the cost, were wonderful. That thinks Bush exercising daily was a waste of presidential time, but Obama exercising is a great example for the public to control weight and stress, that picked over every line of Bush’s military records, but never demanded that Kerry release his, that slammed Palin with two years as governor for being too inexperienced for VP, but touted Obama with three years as senator as potentially the best president ever.
Wonder why people are dropping their subscriptions or switching to Fox News? Get a clue. I didn’t vote for Bush in 2000, but the media and Kerry drove me to his camp in 2004.
I’m tired of being told that out of “tolerance for other cultures” we must let Saudi Arabia use our oil money to fund mosques and madrassa Islamic schools to preach hate in America, while no American group is allowed to fund a church, synagogue or religious school in Saudi Arabia to teach love and tolerance.
I’m tired of being told I must lower my living standard to fight global warming, which no one is allowed to debate. My wife and I live in a two-bedroom apartment and carpool together five miles to our jobs. We also own a three-bedroom condo where our daughter and granddaughter live. Our carbon footprint is about 5% of Al Gore’s, and if you’re greener than Gore, you’re green enough.
I’m tired of being told that drug addicts have a disease, and I must help support and treat them, and pay for the damage they do. Did a giant germ rush out of a dark alley, grab them, and stuff white powder up their noses while they tried to fight it off? I don’t think Gay people choose to be Gay, but I damn sure think druggies chose to take drugs. And I’m tired of harassment from cool people treating me like a freak when I tell them I never tried marijuana.
I’m tired of illegal aliens being called “undocumented workers,” especially the ones who aren’t working, but are living on welfare or crime.. What’s next? Calling drug dealers, “Undocumented Pharmacists”? And, no, I’m not against Hispanics. Most of them are Catholic and it’s been a few hundred years since Catholics wanted to kill me for my religion. I’m willing to fast track for citizenship any Hispanic person who can speak English, doesn’t have a criminal record and who is self-supporting without family on welfare, or who serves honorably for three years in our military. Those are the citizens we need..
I’m tired of latte liberals and journalists, who would never wear the uniform of the Republic themselves, or let their entitlement-handicapped kids near a recruiting station, trashing our military. They and their kids can sit at home, never having to make split-second decisions under life and death circumstances, and bad mouth better people then themselves. Do bad things happen in war? You bet. Do our troops sometimes misbehave? Sure. Does this compare with the atrocities that were the policy of our enemies for the last fifty years—and still are? Not even close. So here’s the deal. I’ll let myself be subjected to all the humiliation and abuse that was heaped on terrorists at Abu Ghraib or Gitmo, and the critics can let themselves be subject to captivity by the Muslims who tortured and beheaded Daniel Pearl in Pakistan, or the Muslims who tortured and murdered Marine Lt.. Col. William Higgins in Lebanon, or the Muslims who ran the blood-spattered Al Qaeda torture rooms our troops found in Iraq, or the Muslims who cut off the heads of schoolgirls in Indonesia, because the girls were Christian.. Then we’ll compare notes. British and American soldiers are the only troops in history that civilians came to for help and handouts, instead of hiding from in fear.
I’m tired of people telling me that their party has a corner on virtue and the other party has a corner on corruption. Read the papers—bums are bi-partisan. And I’m tired of people telling me we need bi-partisanship.. I live in Illinois, where the “Illinois Combine” of Democrats and Republicans has worked together harmoniously to loot the public for years. And I notice that the tax cheats in Obama’s cabinet are bi-partisan as well.
I’m tired of hearing wealthy athletes, entertainers and politicians of both parties talking about innocent mistakes, stupid mistakes or youthful mistakes, when we all know they think their only mistake was getting caught. I’m tired of people with a sense of entitlement, rich or poor.
Speaking of poor, I’m tired of hearing people with air-conditioned homes, color TVs and two cars called poor. The majority of Americans didn’t have that in 1970, but we didn’t know we were “poor.” The poverty pimps have to keep changing the definition of poor to keep the dollars flowing.
I’m real tired of people who don’t take responsibility for their lives and actions. I’m tired of hearing them blame the government, or discrimination, or big-whatever for their problems.
Yes, I’m damn tired. But I’m also glad to be 63. Because, mostly, I’m not going to get to see the world these people are making. I’m just sorry for my granddaughter.
Robert A. Hall is a Marine Vietnam veteran who served five terms in the Massachusetts state senate.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Black and White

I am such a black and white person. Either it is or it isn't. Either it's done or it is unfinished. Either it's dirty or clean. There's no in between for me.

It's a good part of my character and it's a bad part of my character. For me to say that goes against all my black and white stances.

It's called changing. I've asked God to change my character and part of that is the soap box I stand on when people disagree with me. When I'm right I'm completely right. No ifs ands or buts. When I'm wrong I admit it and am totally wrong and apologize until I'm told to shut up.

I have to laugh at this part of my personality on mornings like this. Sam and a whole bunch of nurses are packing medicine to take on their Medical Mission Trip to Guatemala this next Saturday. He asked me to type up several catergories of meds and wrote all of them down for me. Then he ran through the office and said they needed two more signs.

Antiseptic and I-meds. That's what I heard and that's what I wrote.

Laughingly, the nurses had a field day with I-meds. I assumed it was for medicine like Imodium.

Sam meant EYE-meds. I laughed. Apologized...and still feel like I need to apologize some more.

And then I laugh again.

Duh.

Friday, February 27, 2009

In a Pit With A Lion on a Snowy Day

This book was introduced to me by my nephew Stephen who is enjoying his Freshman year at Central Bible College. I look at his Facebook page and can't help but smile seeing him allowing God to turn him into a preacher....not just any preacher...one who slays lions in pits despite the snowy days.

The book's cover says:
Your greatest regret at the end of your life will be the lions you didn't chase. You will look back longingly on risks not taken, opportunities not seized, and dreams not pursued. Stop running away from what scares you most and start chasing the God-ordained opportunities that cross your path. In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day is inspired by one of the most obscure yet courageous acts recorded in Scripture, a blessed and audacious act that left no regrets: “Benaiah chased a lion down into a pit. Then, despite the snow and slippery ground, he caught the lion and killed it” (2 Samuel 23:20 -21). Unleash the lion chaser within! What if the life you really want, and the future God wants for you, is hiding right now in your biggest problem, your worst failure… your greatest fear ? "

I'm on page 63. It's a refreshing book for me to read for many reasons. One is I've been immersed in Christian fiction novels for the last few years...and reading a non-fiction book reminds me how much I still thirst for the newness of God. Secondly, I love books that challenge my mode of thinking...I love books that take me to another level of God's mercy, grace and Professorship! He is the greatest teacher...and I've missed learning from Him.

As I read this book, I see that God saw Benaiah's feats as worthy to be put in His Word. So obviously we must learn something from this verse.

Today I read "In his Letters to Malcolm, CS Lewis said, "If God had granted all the silly prayers I've made in my life, where would I be now?" Lewis went so far as to say that someday we'll be more grateful for our prayers that didn't get answered than the ones that did. The reason for this is simple: Many of our prayers are misguided. We pray for comfort instead of character. We pray for an easy way out instead of the strength to make it through. We pray for no pain, when the result would be no gain. We pray that God will keep us out of pits and away from lions. But if God answered our prayer, it would rob us of our greatest opportunities. Many of our prayers would short-circuit God's plans and purposes for our lives if He answered them. Maybe we should stop asking God to get us out of difficult circumstances and start asking Him what He wants us to get out of those difficult circumstances."

One of my prayers is that God would change my character. It's kind of like pulling at an ingrown toenail. It's painful and sometimes nasty looking...and sometimes the ugly character grows back the same way...but with a callous around it. I, thank God, am still a piece of clay, ready and able to be molded...sometimes not willing.

Yes, I've read all of this before. But never when I was in a pit...with a lion...on a snowy day.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Boldness and Behind the Scenes

I wish all of us could be so bold as to go up to hurting people, homeless people and sit with them and give them our time. That would be so awesome. And each of us needs to get out of our comfort zones and do that at least once. I have. I was scared to death. In a day and age where I cannot remember a friend's name on any given day...it would be a frightening thing to walk up to a stranger and try to remember his/her name--much less give them a piece of Jesus in me.

But it did make me feel like I had peeled a layer of apprehension off of me and maybe next time it might be easier...and maybe not.

Matthew 25:31 “But when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit upon his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered in his presence, and he will separate the people as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will place the sheep at his right hand and the goats at his left.
34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. 36 I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’
37 “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? 39 When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’
40 “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters,
you were doing it to me!’
41 “Then the King will turn to those on the left and say, ‘Away with you, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his demons.
42 For I was hungry, and you didn’t feed me. I was thirsty, and you didn’t give me a drink. 43 I was a stranger, and you didn’t invite me into your home. I was naked, and you didn’t give me clothing. I was sick and in prison, and you didn’t visit me.’
44 “Then they will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?’
45 “And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.’
46 “And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous will go into eternal life.”

I have read and re-read this. I've really tried to see where someone would be considered less for just dropping off some used socks and shoes to homeless people. I've really tried to see where someone who brought warm meals to the homeless would be considered not doing what Jesus would do....

What's the motive? The motives of the church goers who brought shoes and socks so that the homeless would have their feet taken care of--- were their motives any less than those who brought themselves and the gospel? Those who brought the gospel had boldness that shoe-givers do not? I'm just asking because I need to know.

Jesus said "I was hungry, I was thirsty, I was a stranger, I was naked".....and this uncomfortably scared little team of church members brought clothes and another team--walking out of their comfort zones brought food. And then I read a quote from a precious child of God "I believe it's the raw, authentic love of Jesus lived out thru us that will draw people to the heart of God. Not a pile of socks on the street given out half-heartedly, or a hot meal given in haste."

The motives of the church goers who brought warm meals to the homeless...didn't it take time to give it to the homeless....to prepare it....to plan it... and the love to serve it? And instead of standing around and watching the fruits of their labors...didn't hang around and watch...they left...so that the homeless could enjoy their meal without people strutting around saying "see what we did for the homeless...what are you doing???" Are those who gave the hot meal any less a servant than those who have the boldness to walk up to these same people and give their time? I'm thinking both are reflections of Jesus... Because it takes all of us to be the hands and feet of the gospel.

I know passing out used socks and shoes and warm food isn't radical. But Jesus said that's part of what the righteous ones did for him.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Now That will Preach

I had a rectangle basket. In it I had a crock pot full of Taco Soup, some serving spoons, two hand mitts to carry the crock pot and two bottles of water. I put the basket on my front seat, but it was leaning toward the back of the seat and I could see the liquid in the taco soup about to spill onto the inside of the basket...

So I grabbed the only thing I could find in my car...My Bible. And I literally thought...now...that's a great leveler.

Wow...that'll preach.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

25 more things...everyone is doing it

My first list...the truth is I am a very boring person. I wish I had stories of rock climbing in the Andes or hiking among the wild cats...ect...but I don't. But as I have read other's 25 things...more items in my life that may be found interesting came to my head...so here's the rest of the story:

1. When I accepted Christ at the age of 30, was the very first time I "heard" the voice of God. He was very purposeful in the message I received. "DO NOT LET LIQUOR TOUCH YOUR LIPS THE REST OF YOUR LIFE." I got it...and I knew the voice I heard was mine, but the emphasis was not mine...it came from Someone with authority and I knew I needed to obey. Even though I LOVE mixed drinks and used to love to drink Aste Spumante Sparkling Champagne, in 24 years I have never touched any alcoholic beverage. The fear of what God may do to me for disobeying that DIRECT order outweighs the desires.

2. I nearly died when I was 8 years old from inhaling sugar-sweetened lemonade mix. I didn't do it on purpose--my sister had said something funny and I sucked in some of the powder in the spoon in front of me. The granules stuck in my throat and clogged my airway. My dad saved my life that night...and I have never forgotten that fear of not being able to breathe.

3. I nearly died after I had a hysterectomy at the age of 26. I woke up to doctors pounding on my chest yelling "BREATHE". When I awoke, the doctor said "We almost lost you."

4. I did see that tunnel and the light at the end of it ...and now I know why I didn't go there. I was not saved...and there was hellfire and brimstone waiting for me on the other side.

5. I've made some very stupid choices in my life that looking back I wonder what I was thinking. Things that I did as a young woman with three children should have gotten me in a lot of trouble, but God's hand was on me at all times...and I know that now.

6. When my children got hurt (Geoff broke his arm at 4 years old, Chris broke his in judo, Melissa had her toes separated by a sharp corner) I was always calm, collected and cool. Always, when it was over and they had gone to bed, I would fall into a corner and totally come unglued wondering how I ever was going to survive being the only parent of three precious children.

7. I faced School Boards on three different occasions fighting for my children. And that's not even in my personality...but no one messed with my children. And then I'd go home and fall into a corner and cry because I didn't have the strength to make another decision.

8. If I had not been pregnant before I was married, I probably would have never been married, because my children's father was the only date I had ever had. We married when I was 2 1/2 month's pregnant. We were married for almost 9 years and had two more children.

9. I didn't know that husbands didn't have to hit their wives. I thought that was what was supposed to happen. No...it never happened at my childhood home...but I really didn't think I was much worth anything else.

10. It took many years of making decisions, several months of deep intense counseling, and years on my knees in prayer before I felt worthy to be loved.

11. I become so sensitive to criticism that I fall apart, and have to reassess my worthiness.

12. My oldest son was my prototype. I had no idea what to expect from babies, children or grown children. Sometimes I still feel very ignorant.

13. I have to purposely 'button my mouth' when a woman calls for advice and is in a bad situation and she wants someone to bail her out because she's not strong enough to handle it. From my past comes the words that won't come out of my mouth (rightfully so.) "Suck it up honey...life isn't fair...if I can do it you can do it."

14. God taught me how to forgive through a lot of prayer and fasting. And my prayer has always been let me see them through Your eyes. So # 13 instead of really wanting to say Suck it up...I've learned that everybody is hurting... it's just the tip of the iceberg.

15. However, I have no patience for stupid questions. If the shirt tag says "L" that does means it's a Large.

16. I waste a lot of time watching TV and on Facebook.

17. I wish I was as nice and good as people think I am.

18. People who talk about other people and make fun of them: I always wonder what they say about me behind my back.

19. I got ahead of God on a promise I really feel He gave me and have paid for it the rest of my life. The regret is as deep as a nail wound.

20. I am not lonely. I am often alone.

21. I have no very close friends where I live now. Seems every close friend has moved away. Sometimes I feel isolated, but I know that God is in the background stirring up a great big surprise for me.

22. I am reading the Bible chronologically in 2009 and have not skipped a day. It's been interesting.

23. My biggest pet peeve is people leaving cabinet doors or drawers open.

24. I love who my children are now. I just wish... they know what I would say.

25. I wish I had an eraser for things I've done to hurt feelings. Life is too short to hold grudges.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Seems Like Forever

Can't believe I haven't posted anything in a while.

I've been dealing with feelings, thoughts and emotions that go from one end of infinity to the other. Which means...too many thoughts and not enough closure on the thoughts.

I've taken on a HUGE scrapbook project. Making 4 scrapbooks for me and my siblings of the diaries that my mom left behind. I have 39 pages of typed notes from the diaries. Then last night I opened a box of poems. Some I had seen, some I had not.

The myriad of emotions that ran through me were pretty foreign as I read words my mother wrote. I guess it was her way of expressing what would not come out.

What and or whom my mother disliked...she hated. It is hard to get my head and heart around the intensiveness of her emotions. She would get angry at one of us...her children and tell the others about what we did that wronged her. Then she'd write it on her calendar diary and write a poem about it.

She never undid the anger. She wouldn't apologize and she didn't think it was wrong to tell each of us how the other acted...and yet many times in her diaries she wrote "I just wish tongues would quit wagging." And she never figured out it was hers.

The next day, she'd write how wonderful the person was that she had hated the day before. It was so confusing to go through all her words and feel the love then the loathing.

And then I found a poem she wrote about me. Weaved within the ink blots and scratches, she wrote about how she depended on me her 2nd child. She loved me, she could lean on me, she would need me and I'd be there. Her last line in the poem was "You are second to none."

I sat there a while, pondering the love in her poem and wished that she could have told me that in person...instead of prose.

It really takes me aback a little knowing that I have the same tendencies. And today I've decided that my children need to know how much I love them by not only my words but my actions. They need to know that I love who they are now and appreciate them so much because of the choices they made on their own back when they were younger.

I wish I could have been a better mother in their youth...but I was just a child myself. I only knew what I had seen in my mother.

I became a Christian in 1984 when they were 10, 8, & 6. So much damage had been done...and unfortunately I didn't change overnight. Yet, my latchkey children made the best of it. And I am so very proud of each of them. They are wonderful individuals and I can only hope that something I did when they were younger was right and gave them an instinct that they will pass on to the next generation.

I remember praying for my children after 1984...almost nightly I would ask God to give them good roots...not roots that grew from me...but roots that would be God-sized. I think God answered my prayer and I stand in awe at my children today. They are blessings to me.