Trying to Understand

For the second time in as many months, another of our young mothers in our congregation has committed suicide. Both moms loved the Lord...both had husbands who came to church...both had three small children.

Try as I may, it's so hard for me to understand the hopelessness of suicide and the selfishness of suicide...because

I'm on this side...I see the results of suicide.

The husband heard the gun go off and ran into the bedroom to discover...

Bravely at the memorial service he said "I should have...I should have...I should have".

Husbands...look at your wives. I mean really look...is she overburdened? Is she asking for your help and you're not listening? Is this what she has to do to get your attention?

Wives/mommies...do you REALLY want your children to live with that stigma the rest of their lives? No matter what anyone says, those children will believe it is their fault you did this. Do you REALLY want those babies to think that?

We all come from a dysfunctional backgrounds. Most of us at one time or the other ponder how much easier it would be to just not "be" anymore. Unfortunately, for those who are left to scrub the brains and blood, and for those who have to suffer the "guilt" of 'why', it is never easy. Never.

We all have battles and scars to prove it. I think of Esther in the Bible. I'm sure she felt hopeless when she found out that she was going to be a "prostitute" for the king. Can you imagine the horror she went through? But there was a family member in the background constantly reminding her of her giftedness...and that she could be a heroine ...if someone was going to be brave and save the Jews...why not her? She lived to tell that she was born for a reason...for such a time as this.

I recently met a lady whose life merits one that would end it all. The horror of her childhood would have made anyone else institutionalized. Even though she talked in a monotone (I thought of Jack Webb in the old Dragnet series while listening to her), there was a fire deep in her eyes that fought to scream I AM A SURVIVOR. I want to get to know that person...and I want her to know that it is safe to be a survivor.

You are here on this Earth for a reason. You are made in the image of God. He blew breath into you, formed you, loved you before you were an embryo.

It's worth sticking around...watching those babies go to school, play sports, be in a play, watch their personalities form, cry with them with their first heartbreak, and cry for them as they struggle with the same issues you are. It is worth every moment to stay alive...because you were born for such a time as this.