Missing

I'm missing... me.

I've been too busy... been too tired... been too driven to sit down and be my own company.

I thought once my children were raised my life would be easier. But in fact it is harder. I miss my children. I miss having conversations with them on a daily basis. I miss knowing they are safe and sound under my roof.

And now I have three beautiful grandchildren. I miss watching them grow up. I miss keeping up with their daily lives. Who lost a tooth...Who is sick...Who is well... What deep thoughts did they have this day.

I miss that part of me who was all nuturing. Always there for my children. I miss caring for someone else... I miss that me.

Today there's another me. The one I'm supposed to be in this transitional time of my life. I'm busy hearing sad stories of those who have encountered life-altering circumstances...like death...like sicknesses...like divorce. God has given me another nuturing me...one who surrounds strangers with prayers and listens in between the sobs... in between the words ... in between the heartaches... and I hear the sorrow, the pain and the hopelessness.

God has graced me with the ability to see what is missing in someone's life, and fill them up with His Word, His Light, His Treasures.

I received such a compliment today and really wanted to ignore it. But God in His infinite wisdom told me to reread it. To swallow it, digest it and allow it to become even more of who I am in Him.

I am missing part of me... but in the place of what is missing, God is bringing platefuls of 'filler' so I can become the woman I was meant to be.