"Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." (I Thessalonians 5:16-18)

Monday, August 4, 2008

Sleep


Here I am again. So very tired and yet cannot sleep.

Who created menopause anyway? I had become so hesitant to continue the straight estrogen I've been on---that with my dr's permission I finally quit taking it.

I had a hysterectomy when I was 25 years old. Taking straight estrogen causes one to be susceptible to uterine cancer. Well...I haven't got one of them. I asked my Dr. where all those cancer causing agents go if they can't plant their tiny destructive cells in the uterus. His answer was there wasn't enough studies done to answer my question. So I told him, I only wanted to take it long enough to get past the "shoot them before they speak" stage.

That is past. Now I just have the frustration, sleeplessness and anxiety that goes along with the big M. So what do I do on these nights that I am so tired yet cannot sleep?

I've started thinking of everyone I know whose name starts with A...living and dead. I pray for them if they are living...I pray for their families if they have died. I find that prayer helps me fall asleep...and getting my mind off of me is one of the best things I can do. Then I go to B, C etc.

Let's see...I think I am on N now. There's my sister Norma and my Aunt Nellie...and and and...

yawn.

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