"Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." (I Thessalonians 5:16-18)

Monday, August 15, 2011

Shouldn't I feel that way?

I'm so glad God has made us so different. I'm certainly glad He allowed me to have the feelings I have. One thing I'm constantly working on is my core woundedness.
That's the deepest part of me. The part when something happens now, I get flashbacks of being broken many years ago. We all have a core wound. We all have that one thing (some have more).
This past Sunday something happened that took me back to my core woundedness and I felt like the person who was picked last to be on a team. The little girl who didn't belong. The outcast. The lonely girl who didn't make friends and was afraid to speak up.
It's amazing to me how satan knows that button to push at such a time. What's even more amazing is that God has taught me to recognize when that button is pushed and He has helped me to know how to act and react.
I must admit, my initial reaction was knee-jerk and hateful. But if I would have stayed in that frame of mind, I would have missed an excellent sermon. And then it was a duh thing. I needed to hear the message... and a worthless imp tried to take that away from me.
I also teach a class. After the worship time, I had to face the very person who brought me to my knees (metaphorically, of course.) I wanted to let her know she was wrong to do me that way.
But God...
I love those words.
What was meant to harm, turned into good. As I began to teach my lesson, forgetfulness stepped in and the grace of God overwhelmed me. I must set aside me... and just brag about Him.

2 comments:

Leah Gillen said...

Beautiful words - aptly spoken, and a "sermon" I needed to hear as well. :-)

heartofpraise said...

Needed to read this! God always makes a way!