God Calling--Keep Close

Our Lord, guide us. Show us Thy Will and Way in everything.Keep close to Me and you shall know The Way because, as I said to My disciples, I am The Way. That is the solution to all earth's problems.

Keep close, very close to Me. Think, act, and live in My Presence.

How dare any foe touch you, protected by Me! That is the secret of all Power, all Peace, all Purity, all influence, the keeping very near to Me. Abide in Me. Live in My Presence.

Rejoice in My Love. Thank and Praise all the time. Wonders are unfolding. And He said, My presence shall go with thee, and I will give thee rest. Exodus 33:14

Loopy

Beginning in 1998 I have suffered with MAJOR bouts of vertigo. Not just the light headed stuff, but the fall on the floor because the room is spinning stuff...crawling where I needed to go because I couldn't walk.

I have control issues anyway...and then not being able to stay balanced just about does me in! I struggle to drive...I make jokes of it...but if I'm at a stop sign...I slowly have to look to the right...then slowly to the left...then slowly to the right again and once more to the left...because I have to do it so slowly who knows what's coming 'round the bend as I'm slowly looking the other way!'

Recently I have felt like my brain was shifting in my head and I couldn't move my head much without getting off balance. So finally after years of wondering why I had these bouts, I got my trusty little Neti Pot and started using it again.

Sure enough, this morning I awoke for the first time in a week without dizziness and light-headedness. I guess I'm destined to use it forever...but that's better than ...as my chiropractor calls it "being loopy."

But God.....?

I wonder why some of us won't obey God even though we know we ought to...because we want what we want---and feel like if that's what we want, it must be God's will, because why would we want it?

When will we understand that sometimes God's best doesn't resemble what we see in our head?...His best sometimes leads us into places we didn't think we wanted to be.

Sometimes God's best is right around the corner...we just refuse to go there---because THIS IS WHERE WE WANT TO BE.

So we stick to what we believe to have been God's voice...even when it doesn't line up with His Word... with fingernails screeching, thinking that God will eventually let us have our way (we think that HIS way would NEVER be something we don't want.)

and all along...the gifts that He freely has given us go to waste...because we want what we want.... and call it "In the name of Jesus".

More Than Enough

I ponder a lot.

Ponder...to reflect...to consider with depth. Pondering seems to come to me in retrospect. After an ordeal is over...I ponder.

I have been in the throes of wondering (or in my case wandering in my mind aimlessly!) about events of my personal life these past few years.

I had prayed for 19 years for someone...a person very dear to me. I had prayers I wrote 'out loud' to God and I had prayers tucked deep within my heart. When events didn't turn out the way I assumed they should because of my prayers, I got angry, irate and inconsolable. I called a dear friend a couple days after the event. I don't even know how he could understand what I was saying, but between my anger and sobs he said, "Just come home, Ouida. Just come home."


I was so tired of crying. So tired of being angry. Angry about what? As I would sit in my prayer chair, I would ponder my anger. Who and what was I mad at?

Then it came like a revelation. I was angry at God for not listening to my prayers...for not answering my prayers the way I thought He should have. I was angry at God and I told Him so. So there! Take that, God.


That evening after my 'revelation', my daughter told me that I needed to hear a song by her favorite group, The Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir. The angelic voice began to sing,

"Jehovah Jireh My Provider You are more than enough for me
Jehovah Raepha You're my healer By your stripes I've been set free
Jehovah Shammah You are with me to supply all my needs
You are more than enough More than enough You are more than enough for me"


Suddenly there was a stirring within me. Tears filled my eyes and I told my daughter I needed to go home. I wasn't going to allow those feelings to come out. God had hurt my feelings and I was...I was really mad.

The next day, my daughter and I had some retail therapy (Commerce, GA.) On the way home, she said, "Mom, there's one more song you need to hear!"

Uh oh...I didn't want to go through that again.

"Since the last time I saw you
God has moved another mountain out of my way
Led me to green pasture turned my midnight into day
Placed my feet up on a rock to stay
Since the last time I saw you
God has calmed another raging storm in my life
Led me into safety turned my darkness into light
Now I stand in the power of his might

You would have thought that God already done enough for me
When he took my place at Calvary
But he's done so much more and more
Right before my eyes
And I have no other choice
But to stand and testify, stand and testify

Since the last time I saw you God has worked
another wondrous miracle for me
Led me into triumph
Now my blinded eyes can see
that Christ the Lord performs victoriously

You would have thought that he done enough for me
When he took my place at Calvary
But he’s done more and more and more every day
He makes a way and he’s made a way
Since the last time I saw you things have changed
I’m not the same... since the last time"

As she sang, all I could do was think...
my mountain had not moved ....the event had happened and that mountain was still a lump in my throat.

But I kept hearing......"You would have thought that He would have done enough for me...when He took my place on Calvary...."

I held in my emotions until I got home.
In my bedroom, I fell to my knees in sorrow. Sorrow that I had made God 'ouida-sized.'

The God of the Universe, the Great and Mighty I AM, My Jehovah, Creator, Master, My Maker...my Husband.


So what if He didn't answer my prayer the way I wanted Him to. Wasn't it enough that He had died for me? Wasn't that enough?


I lay prostrate on my floor and asked The God of My Salvation to forgive me for my pride, my arrogance, and my ignorance.


My friend's words came back to me, "Just come home, Ouida. Just come home."


It suddenly didn't matter about the past events...because it was enough that Jesus had died for me...more than enough for me.


I'm home again...Pondering.

-Ouida Ray 6/12/03

You ARE What you advertise

It's amazing to me how many people walk around with signs on them....unseen by human eyes, but if you're a people watcher like I am, you begin to learn those signs.

Single men and women I watch and/or talk to are DESPERATELY seeking someone to date and marry....as if that will give them significance in their lives.

We need to quit wearing the signs of neediness, hopelessness, misery, bitterness, anguish and desolation.

A good friend called me a couple weeks ago, and told me that another friend had 'fixed her up' with a guy.

In retrospect the first clue was "you two are perfect for each other." Now my friend is wondering what her friend sees in her!

This guy began to immediately call my friend several times a day and even started calling her at work. Good grief! Fortunately, she had the strength and smartness to let him know that she was not going to be the enabler he was looking for in his constant search for someone to love and someone to love him. EEEEWWWWWWW-----as she and I say "to-wee...to-wee."

Last year I was sitting in the parking lot of our local grocery store Ingles talking to my friend Janie. The wind had kicked up a good gust and I watched a grocery cart start at one end and cross the whole parking lot and smash against a little blue car....and then started laughing.

I could hardly contain myself for a moment...because the license plate on the car read: "V1CT1M".

What a sobering thought... we are the signs we wear!

****adjusts the sign that says "Feed me".****

Scrappin'

I am house sitting for 8 weeks. During this time, I've missed going through my photo scrapbooks.

One my dear daughter in law made for me for a Christmas present one year. It is so precious to me.

Another one, my sweet daughter made me for my 50th birthday... it is so precious to me.

One, I've done, and I'm sure it will continually be still in the works.

But at this house I'm at...this lady's pictures are everywhere...in envelopes, in drawers, in every drawer, in manila envelopes, pinned up on the wall and in frames.

It almost makes me want to leave her a scrapbook and let her get to work.

I love my scrapbooks. I miss not scrapping...because I've got so many pictures...organized in plastic boxes in my closet. I just need space to do it....I just need to do it.

I love my scrapbooks.

Age before Beauty...and Beauty was a Horse

It finally happened. The day I've been dreading my whole adult life.

Without asking...

I got into the movies on a senior adult ticket.

It took my breath away for just a moment. I realized that even though I still feel like a young woman inside of me...my looks are not deceiving anyone.

I've become a senior adult. Of course AARP started sending me junk mail when I turned 50. I wasn't ready to admit that...then...

And by golly, I'm not quite ready to admit it now. I'm still young at heart, regardless of my age...

I just wish when I got up from bed in the morning, I didn't have to stand in one place to be sure everything works the way it is supposed to.

sigh.